Once I saw this TV commercial for a beans brand. A guy talks to a dog about how good those beans are and it's family recipe for generations. Dog asks if he can get the recipe. Guy answers yes, when pigs fly. What is the next scene on the commercial? The dog, trying to teach a pig to fly by itself.
There I realize when someone says "when pigs fly", it means it won't happen. Do pigs fly? When pigs are sent to other countries on a FEDEX flight wouldn't count as a yes. Or if you built a giant slingshot and throw pigs. Maybe if MTV's "Jackass" was still in the air, maybe Johnny Knoxville would do a "Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville and this is pigs flying.". Or maybe Chris Pontius.
Let's get back to the question on the paragraph above. Do pigs fly? Times like this I wish I had a farm. Because if I had one, I would do this experiment with the pigs, giving them Red Bull. Doesn't Red Bull give you wings? Once I gave pork to a baby pig. He liked that. So, if pigs can't fly, they can be cannibals.
What is the expression for "when pigs fly" here in Brazil? If cows cough. Possible? Yes, if a ventriloquist has a cow puppet and makes the cough sounds. I've heard dogs sneezing, but cows coughing? Not even hoof-and-mouth disease made it possible.
Thank the Lord that animals can only explain impossibilities. Otherwise, Einstein would roll over his grave if a partridge contested that the Theory of Relativity is wrong.
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