Another usage of animals to explain something

Back in high school time, I was at this party and a friend of mine got scared because someone said police was on the way. I don't remember the reason why of police coming to the party. But to my friend, he had pot with him. Since he was high, he was scared.

I was telling him all he time to keep calm, but then he was screaming that the cops would check on everybody and and arrest him because of pot. I told him throw the pot away and say he was too drunk. He kept saying that he would be arrested and tell the cops he was drunk would be trying to explain that a pig nose isn't a energy socket.

Maybe this is the best expression that uses animal I've ever heard in my life! It's so simple that I told it to a freelance designer, who was working next to me, and he got right away :)



That's how energy sockets are in Europe. That's why he got it.

Animals, again, explain how dangerous it can be

We have this expression in Brazil that means it's dangerous: to poke a tiger with a short stick. I know it works more like a metaphor.

Again, on the web, I found this picture:



Could we make "wake up a polar bear with cymbals" an expression/metaphor for danger?

Animals explain how drunk you are

We have this expression in Brazil that means you're drunk: with the monkey hanged on a giraffe's neck. I was on the internet and I found this picture:



Can some tell me if this is an expression somewhere? I can say the Photoshop work on this image is pretty cool :)

Food makes it easy

My first post on this blog was about the expression "piece of cake". On my portfolio, I have a campaign for Corbis, where I played with some stuff searched online. Piece of Cake was one of the searches I played around.



When I was showing my book in Brazil, some people didn't get that piece of cake means something easy. But in Brazil, you can say something is easy by using food. The expression is "mamão com açúcar", in English "papaya with sugar". I'll do a "mamão com açúcar" layout, but just for my book in Portuguese.

I asked my coworker if there is an expression here in Russia that means easy that uses food. Guess what? Yes, there is, but very archaic: as easy as boiling turnip.

I wonder which countries have more expressions that says it's easy, by using food.

Does the usage of headphones mean "talk to me" in Russia?

As you may know, У меня плохо с русским, or in a Russian you understand better, my Russian is bad. To avoid any kind of contact with Russians on the street, I do my best to not have any kind of eye contact with people. I really don't like doing it but, unfortunately, it helps me not getting in contact with people that I can't talk, yet.

Not not make eye contact with Russians, I keep my headphones on my ears all the time. May the Lord bless the Aiko Morita for the walkman and Steve Jobs for the iPod :D . But it seems it doesn't work. It feels like some Russians think that if a person is using headphones, you know, listening to their music, it means you can stop than to ask some information, or maybe some money.

I was walking home and this lady stops me to ask an information. I asked her if she spoke English. She didn't, so, no help from me :( This other lady, with her kids, stopped me while I was listening to my iPod. Again, I asked if she spoke English. She asked me where the Metro station was. A question I answered with my finger, that one we use to point a direction. Finally I could help someone here :)

But there was this day I was walking, with my headphones on, and this guy stops me. He starts to talk in Russian, pointing to his cellphone. Again, I said I didn't speak English. I thought at first he was asking me where it was the closest machine he could add credits. But I realized he wanted me to give him money. I said I didn't have. Well, I had, but not to him. I kept walking and he was following me. I turned and said with a rough voice "did you loose anything?". Not polite, I agree, but I had to do it. Also, could have been dangerous, if he had a knife or and kind of weapon. Good he didn't have any.

Maybe, to avoid those situations again, I'll have this t-shirt done:



In a Russian you understand, the shirt reads "Just because I’m with my headphones doesn’t mean you can ask me anything.”. Natalie Sytnik, my BBDO Moscow colleague, thank you for translating it to Russian :)

Hello ... Alô ... алло ...

Have you seen the movie "Crazy People"? David Paymer's character says "hello" most of the time in the movie. He even composed a song with Woody Harris' character. You can hear it on the credits. It's funny.

It's quite funny to hear the Russians answering the phone, because "алло" (allo) sounds like "alô" - Hello in Russian and Portuguese.

I confess that when I listen Russians saying алло when they answer the phone makes me homesick the most :*(

Trying to say yes correctly

I thinks "YES" is the word I hear the most in English. And your variations, like "Yeah" and "Yep". In German, "yes" is "ja", but you say "yah". In Russian - since now I'm living in Moscow - "yes" is "da", or "Да" - cyrillic alphabet.

It feels for me a little hard to say "Да" more often. Even almost every Russian don't speak English, they understand "yes", but I try to not say it all the time. Then, there's the German "ja" or "yah". What makes it hard? "Yah" is the "I" in Russian, like "I am ...", "I can ..." - Я, in the cyrillic alphabet.

On my first shopping or whatever that involved money spending adventures, I could process questions like "Do you want a bag?" or "1 ticket?", so, what was my answer? "Я" - "yah", because even "yes" or "Да" weren't coming out.

My landlord doesn't speak English. Whenever we talk, we do through online translators. Me with my computer and him with his smartphone, since my computer doesn't have the cyrillic alphabet. Whenever I ask a question and "yes" is the answer, he uses "yes" instead of "Да". Thank you for confusing me even more!

I confess that "Да" is coming out more often than "yes", "yeap", "yeah" and "ja"-"yah". Even happier that what confuses me with the yes isn't sounding like "I want to have sex with your monkey".

Eu sou, I am, ia ...

Here in Brazil, learning English at school is reviewing the verb To Be all the time. If you get lucky, you can learn some verbs in the present, past and gerund. That's why attending a language course is the thing to do.

It has been a long time I don't go to school anymore. I went to college, improved my English in an intensive English program in Boston, I attended Miami Ad School in USA (Miami Beach, San Francisco and internship programs in Chicago and New York City). On June 14th, I'll finish my basic Russian program. I learned some words, expressions and a new alphabet.

On my 9th class, I learned that in Russian, there isn't the verb To Be in the present. Afters years of learning the verb To Be in English, I get the notice that there isn't the verb To Be in Russian, in the present.

So, what am I in Russian? I Brazilian. Where am I in Russian? I Brazil. It seems in Russian I was and I will be, but I am not. In Russian, I eat, I drink, I think, I speak, I listen, I dream, I make, I play, I know, I show, I ... I ... I ..., but never I am.

I don't see it was the end of the world, because I'll have more space in my mind to Russian words, a language that as long as it gets complicated, it sounds beautiful :)

In English is one thing. In Russian is another thing

I've taken private Russian lessons here in Rio de Janeiro. Most of the Russians don't speak English, but where I'll work, English is the main language. I won't stay at work the whole time, so, learning Russian is necessary.

I remember my first day at "Instituto de Cultura Eslava" (Slavian Culture Institut) that I wouldn't have problems learning Russian because there are some words that sounds Portuguese - my native language. But some of the words I learned so far I learned in English, but what they mean changes in Russian. Check it out:

Most - Bridge
Glass - Eye
Machina (Machine) - Car
Rradio - Radio
Magazin (magazine minus e) - Store
List - Leaf

And to make me even more lost in translation, Russians use the cyrilic alphabet. This is subject for the next posts, because I'm 2 lessons to complete learning the Russian alphabet.

Beef cuts names

I had never been curious about beef cut`s name before I moved to Miami Beach in 2006. Why? Because I had to go grocery shopping and I wanted to be aware of beef cut names. It was a little beat hard in the beginning because I had no clue about beef cut names in English. I knew this one: ribs. But how about "picanha", "contra-filé" and "alcatra"?

On my first shopping, I looked for a cut map at the supermarket, but there wasn't one there. So, I picked the first one I thought it would be good: skirt beef. First thought: is it a cut from a cow and not from a bull? All I remember is it as chewy and juicy cut. And back to Brazil, I found out that skirt is the needle tip - ponta da agulha.

One of my favorite cuts is "fraudinha", in English, little dipper. No, it's not a cut near to the cow's intestine or bladder. It's a juicy cut and here it has this name because the metaphor for this cut is "it's heavy and soaked liked like a baby's dipper, without the crap ;)". Would I look for a little dipper beef? No, and I'm glad that in America little dipper beef is flank :)

If you think those names chose for beef cuts, imagine if those were named after people's name. Larry beef? Anna steak? Prime Michael cut? Well, you may find some steaks named after people, but those are recipes :)